Oxo Tower snipers

A little warning to the budding Lee Harvey Oswalds who live in the Oxo Towers....I don't know who you are and I didn't see you but if natural justice does exist then, boy, are you guys going to get it?!

Perhaps I should explain. I'm back from campaigning for a wee while and was happily strolling down the South Bank to the Tate Modern. Enjoying the sunshine, day-dreaming a little and thinking 'Tis nice to be away from leaflets' I walked down the now familiar path by the Oxo Towers.

I looked at the pavement in front of me. There was a small puddle of water. Then....Whack! A snow-ball/ice-ball hit me in the stomach! And at considerable velocity too I might add! I've added the obligatory exclamation marks to indicate the drama of said occasion.

What gits?! It could have had my eye out (pause to consider the awful implications and then pause again to question if I'm being overly dramatic) and it certainly hurt.

Thankfully the Thimble is no stranger to pain - not with the football team he supports - and he adopted the 'I'm going to pretend that it didn't happen to me' response and strode manfully on (while cursing the blaggards who did it). A huge wet patch on the middle of his sweatshirt was a trophy of the event and one that the Thimble was delighted to receive.

Returning for a moment to the scene of the crime, one might reasonably conclude that the existence of a puddle could hint that some other poor soul was similarly targetted. That this was not a one-off. We are looking at serial offenders. From the speed of the missile in question - and the direction from where it came - I would surmise that a catapult or similar device was used and that it was deployed from the balcony of one of the flats in the Oxo Tower. I am still searching for a motive...

So, people, be careful. Walk along with your head permanently fixed skywards to scan for potential attackers. Wear a cagoule, waterproof trousers and a hard hat when walking by the Oxo Towers . And remain vigilant until I manage to get that ASBO slapped on this urban menace…