Fingerprints and frippery

The Observer's front page yesterday warned that British visitors to the US would have their fingerprints stored 'on an FBI database alongside those of criminals'. The article outlined alleged plans to move from the taking of two fingerprints to the scanning of all ten fingers. A Homeland Security spokeswoman explained that, "The reason for 10-digit fingerprints is that it is more secure than the two-digit system, and the 10-digit system is becoming the international standard".

Liberty and other civil rights groups raised concerns over the proposals, while Simon Davies, head of Privacy International, sounded like he was auditioning for a voice-over role on American movie trailers by saying:

Be warned. A San Francisco Bay family holiday may easily become a nightmare.

What concerned me most, when civil rights organisations often employ the 'slippery slope' argument to criticise policy, was the question of what system would supercede the 10-digit regime when it was no longer sufficient to nail potential suspects?

Could there be a move to take impressions of male genitalia - I've had the odd girlfriend refer disparagingly to my own 'impression' of male genitalia - where casts or moulds would be taken to prove identity? Vast warehouses would need to be erected (sorry...) across America to store this new 'membership' and the queues at airports would add significantly to overall journey times. Such a policy could also be seen to be discriminatory, however, as female passengers would not be subject to such a scan.

Enlightened thinking is necessary here then. The recent passing of the office Christmas party season may provide a few pointers. Given how keen far too many people are to photocopy their own derriere, perhaps US Homeland Security could introduce a 'photocopier and Cava' procedure where Brits grab a glass of cheap fizz before jumping on the nearest Xerox machine to have images of their buttocks recorded for identification purposes? For some people's it might even improve upon the existing photo they have in their passports....