Interns of the world, unite!

In an expose of the Dickensian poor-house working conditions prevalent in the Mother of Parliaments, the TUC has demanded that the Low Pay Commission investigate the employment of young people on unpaid internships - especially in Parliament and in the media.

The TUC argues that MPs who employ interns on no pay could be breaching employment laws,
and fear that the system could lead to exploitation rather than opportunity.

This follows the Danny Dewsbury story and an article in the Guardian in September which 'investigated' - i.e. they searched the w4MP website - the use of interns by MPs and found that the adverts placed by MPs required candidates to be available five days a week, to have good office skills but offered no pay.

So what to do then? Well, its true that interns are exploited. I've one of our interns running across London at this very moment to pick up some truffles and a copy of Horse and Hound. But the truth is that they love it. They demand to be exploited. The poor darlings labour in the mistaken belief that the three months of stuffing envelopes and faking the MP's signature will result in the offer of a junior position in the next government. It would, in my view, be unkind to threaten the purity of this dream by introducing the distasteful concept of monetary reward, thereby reducing this noble pursuit to the equivalence of other wage-earners such as lawyers, courtesans and bankers.

It is true also that the current set-up favours the middle-class kids who can afford to work for free, handing them the opportunities for advancement denied to their less well-off counterparts. But surely it is better that it is the snotty-nosed bourgeoisie who are engaged in these menial tasks rather than the salt-of-the-earth proletarian who would do better to dedicate himself to a life of plumbing a sink or wiring a fuse?

As a Socialist, I feel these sentiments are in line with my egalitarian beliefs (...) but what would be the solution if one should want to find one?

Well, you could pay them a living wage for a start...but where would that money come from? The press coverage of MPs allowances was wont to describe the cost of running an office as 'expenses', as if MPs were raiding the account to pay for weekends at the Savoy rather than paying the staff in their offices to deal with all the correspondence and case-work that goes with being an MP. This being the case it is hard to believe that Parliament would stomach raising the office cost allowance to pay for intern staff...and the parties certainly don't appear to have the money to pay staff either.

If the rules were tightened up to make it more difficult for MPs to hire interns then it is probable that they would increasingly use overseas students (such as the Hansard Society scholars) who would presumably be exempt.

So what's the solution then? Just as this blog's old friend Martin Horwood MP suggested sticking a laundrette and a dry-cleaners in Parliament, it is the commercial option that must be considered here. Indeed, a problem has yet to be invented to which advertising cannot provide the answer. This being the case I humbly suggest that interns should wear a sandwich board - funded by a private company - while going about their duties. Sure, it will make getting through those turnstiles at Portcullis House that bit more difficult but at least they would be able to afford to buy their own tea once they get in the building...