General Well-Being and Captain Bull-Shit

As pointed out at Harry's Place yesterday, the Chinless Wonder's latest contribution to the intellectual and political life of the nation is to say that Britain could be made a better place if only we asked businessmen to be nicer to their workers instead of imposing nasty regulations on companies.

Cameron's 'grand vision' here, suggesting the world would be a better place if people were nicer to one another, is predictably anodyne. Its banality, however, shouldn't disguise its true character as a restatement of the anti-regulation view, traditional in Tory circles. This view holds that business would operate far more smoothly if only they didn't have to worry about those pesky health, safety and employment laws.

It does seem a shame for Cameron's to adopt this approach especially when the Onion reports that even China is getting in on the regulation act...

Given an easy ride by the media on this issue, Cameron was able to portray this speech as a contribution to the work-life balance debate. Labour were right then to point out that, keen as Cameron was to take-up his own paternity leave, he had twice voted against the Employment Act 2002. This extended paid maternity leave, introduced paid paternity leave and allowed parents of young children to request flexible working.

Today's Guardian reports that Cameron also used the Google conference (...) to argue that:

"It's time we admitted that there's more to life than money, and it's time we focused not just on GDP but on GWB - General Wellbeing."

GWB, eh? Why come up with serious policies when you can have a silly acronym? Seriously though, it is nice to hear an Old Etonian being so magnanimous about the fundamentally unrewarding nature of wealth.

Job Centre Plus Staff Member: "I'm afraid there are no job vacancies this week"
Unemployed person: "That's okay. I've been elevated to the post of General Wellbeing."

Despite some critics levelling the charge that the Tories lack substance, Cameron's trade in vacuous bullshit is now expected to make way for a rash of policy statements. In a speech next week to the ippr, Cameron is likely outline his vision for a confident and vibrant Britain in the 21st century. The Conservative leader will argue that the key to personal well-being is to brush your teeth twice a day. In a startlingly innovative proposal to cut crime, Cameron will also recommend that householders deter potential burglars by leaving the hall lights on when they go out.

The new Conservative Party - modern, compassionate and full of shit.

(Pic: Twat on bike)

The New Statesman: Heroes of our time

The New Statesman invited readers to write in with their suggestions for 'heroes of our time' and they've now published the top 50.

Showing a shameful lack of imagination they've gone for Aung Sang Suu Kyi and Nelson Mandela as their top 2. No sign of Jade Goody or Vernon Kay. Most disappointing.

No.3 is Bob Geldof. Bono is on the list too, but only at No.30. Goes to show that editing the Indy isn't good for one's popularity. John 'rapacious Western Governments' Pilger got in at No.4. Mag Thatch at No.5 (clearly benefitting from the large ex-miner readership of the NS), is in at No.5

Andrew Roberts, in his paean to Thatch, says "The 1992 election victory was largely down to her legacy rather than the non-leadership of her absurd successor, John Major. " That's funny. I thought it was precisely because the Tories dumped the old witch that they scraped a win in 1992.

No.7 in the NS poll is Noam Chomsky, who is to academic rigour what Dan Brown is to literary fiction. Tony Benn, Hugo Chavez and George Galloway fill spots in the top-50 too which indicates the Euston Manifesto may have a point about the moral bankruptcy of sections of the Left. With heroes like these who needs bogey-men.

Brian Haw makes it in at No.31 and shows how 'egalitarian' the NS survey is...apparently we ask little more of our heroes than that they squat at a roundabout for five years.

Prince Charles is in at No.46. Next to his name the NS has helpfully printed 'Eldest son of the Queen'. Charlie will be disappointed that his ma finishes higher up the poll, in at No.33, yet pleased that his subscription to NS has at last paid dividends.

In his intro to the poll, Jason Cowley says that 'although we asked you to consider the living, Winston Churchill was among several of the great dead to receive multiple nominations, as were Jesus Christ and Marie Curie. Some heroes, it seems, never die'. Or, rather, some NS readers never read the small print.

Elsewhere in the NS, Robert Calderisi speculates that the worst man in the world is Paul Wolfowitz. Not Robert Mugabe. Not Osama Bin Laden. But, possibly, Paul Wolfowitz.

Campbell pays tribute to Forth

Campbell pays tribute

Liberal Democrat Leader, Sir Menzies Campbell said, "Eric Forth was a fine and independent spirit who valued Parliament and recognised its obligation to hold Government to account."

" His quick-wittedness made him a formidable opponent in debate. He will be missed on all sides. Our thoughts are with his family and friends at this time."
(Press Gallery News)

Quick-wittedness. A few weeks ago at PMQs when Ming asked what the PM was going to do about pensions. Forth, from a sedentary position, shouted [in Ming's direction] "Declare your interest..."

Given the flood of tributes that have been paid to him from politicians of all sides perhaps the House should consider holding a Private Members' Bill Friday in his memory. This would provide a perfect opportunity to celebrate the man and allow all the Bills he single-handedly blocked over the last few years to get another chance of becoming law.

Nick Robinson on Eric Forth here.

Hard-fi

Saw Hard-fi at Brixton Academy last night.



Very disappointing.

Richard Archer, the lead singer who happily told the Guardian last week that he wants Hard-fi to be the biggest band in the world, was shockingly poor. His voice wasn't up to the job at all. He sounded like a cross between Eartha Kitt and Gonzo...and that wasn't on the promotional posters.

Be interested to hear from anyone else who goes to see them on one of their five Brixton nights..what do you think?

Holding the executive to account...

Being the laughing boys they are, the Tories are asking some searching questions about staffing arrangements in the Deputy Prime Minister's office. Staffing arrangements being one of the few areas where Prescott may be able to answer questions given that he is now responsible for very little else.

If the Prime Minister arrives a few minutes early for PMQs today he might hear this question tabled to his valued lieutenant...

14 Hugh Robertson (Faversham & Mid Kent): To ask the Deputy Prime Minister, whether his new office will have a diary secretary.

Your summer movie preview

May 5 Mission: Impossible 3 M:I: 3

In the third film of the series, Tom Cruise plays a man mocked by society for his deeply held religious beliefs. Frustrated by the way society views him, Cruise, playing a down-and-out Hollywood multi-millionaire, fights a desperate battle to prove his sanity and the enlightened appeal of his faith.

The movie, which again sees Cruise doing his own stunts, features a series of daring action sequences. Witness Cruise acrobatically jump on a sofa during a chat show appearance and then, without fear for his personal safety, urge his pregnant girlfriend to remain silent during the baby’s delivery.

The set-piece of the movie is, though, the CGI-enhanced finale sequence, dubbed ‘The Fight for the Placenta’, where our hero clashes with a mid-wife and team of medical staff to do battle for the umbilical cord, a prize which he plans to eat for brunch.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman plays Oprah Winfrey. Kate Bush plays Katie Holmes.

May 19 The Da Vinci Code

An intriguing split-narrative film which plays out in two parts, each lasting 3 months.

In the first piece Tom Hanks plays Leonardo Da Vinci, a little known Italian artist who suddenly realises he is the subject of a best-selling novel. Giving up the painting and decorating job which has hitherto been his life, Leonardo discovers that all those years at art school were a waste of time. Hanks, aiming for a third Academy award, delivers a powerful performance of a man facing existential crisis but finally finding meaning when he dedicates his life to writing airport fiction. Julian Clarey stars as Pope Pius II.

In the second narrative, Tom Hanks plays Tom Walker, a man driven to solve the riddle of Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. Tom forms a crack unit of ace book-hunters, recruited for their specialist skills (hearing, power of speech, map reading), dedicated to uncovering the real reason for the mass appeal of Dan Brown’s best-seller.

After an exhaustive trek across four travelcard zones Tom finally confronts the fate he was desperate to avoid - he must read the Da Vinci Code. Sipping on a mochaccino in a local Starbucks, Tom realises he has lived his life as a cultural snob, always ready to dismiss a film or a book on the basis of its widespread popularity. Armed with this fresh insight, Tom discovers the Da Vinci Code is actually a very good read and vows never again to be so damning of something he hasn’t read before.

The viewer then realises the awful truth – Tom has had a lobotomy.

May 26 X-Men: The Last Stand – The Euston Manifesto

The soul-searching, angst ridden X-men have always regarded themselves as a cut above your average superhero. This time, however, they venture away from the world of tight costumes and superhuman powers and into the world of leftist politics.

The X-Men franchise closes with a full-scale stand-off where the mutants must choose between clinging to their beliefs in freedom, solidarity and democracy (the ‘Euston Manifesto’ of the title) or giving up on these ideals and throwing their lot in with the ‘anti-imperalist’ reactionary Socialist orthodoxy, led by George ‘Corrupto’ Galloway.

Sir Ian McKellen plays Professor Emeritus Norm Geras.Tom Cruise, who lost height but gained obnoxious opinions and toxic cigars for the role, plays George Galloway.

June 9 Omen 1966

In this innovative take on the 1976 horror flick, England fans are forced to suffer the ignominy of yet another glorious defeat at a major football finals. The ghost of 66’ leaves the fans with unrealistic pre-tournament expectations, quickly turning to fatalism and then anger as the recurring nightmare of disallowed goals and penalty misses raises its ugly head for another instalment in the series. The film features Antonio Banderas as Sven-Goran Erikkson and Timothy Spall as David Beckham.

August 4 Miami Vice

Michael Mann’s screen overhaul of the 1980s TV thriller sees the action transferred to Westminster. Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx play cops Crockett and Tubbs who are on a special mission to investigate the cash-for-peerages scandal. Al Pacino is Tony Blair. Ving Rhames plays John Reid.