Tuesday, July 24, 2007

David Cameron's flood barrage...

From today's Daily Mail:

David Cameron Pissed On My Cornflakes

David Cameron's rich, white constituents voiced their anger last night that he was spending time with poor, black people in Rwanda while they battled with floods, floods which Cameron could have stopped single-handedly with the use of his bike pump if only he'd bothered to stay at home. Cameron's constituents were reported to be astonished that the Leader of the Opposition was moved to give up the chance of photo opportunity in a dinghy in Witney to take up the chance of a photo opportunity with some Africans in Kigali.

Cameron damning political error, to spend some time honouring 259,000 victims of the 1994 Rwanda genocide, was compounded by his weekend in Witney when he only visited the scene of the flood rather than donning his scuba-gear and helping grannies get their meals-on-wheels.

Stephen Smith, 37, whose house was under 2ft of water at the weekend, said: "He came to visit but he just walked past me. He didn't even pick up a mop and a bucket. He was just walking showing his face, talking to people, trying to establish what's been happening, talking to the authorities, expressing sympathy, promising to take up the issue in Parliament, raising it with his Shadow Cabinet... and that was it. Now he's off in Africa. The bastard."

Shop manager Gary Cooper, 46, warned of a potential major problem over debris from the flooding. He said: "If there are no bin collections what are we supposed to do with all the rubbish? It's all right for David Cameron - he goes off on a jolly to Rwanda, visiting scenes of mass genocide - but what about the rubbish? As my elected MP, the least he could have done was pick up a bin bag rather than get involved in sterile issues like international development and conflict prevention. Did I mention the rubbish could be a problem and that it is all David Cameron's fault?"

Cameron who spent the weekend in Witney, was said to be in close phone contact with the local authorities, and got his wife to bake a cake for the local flood fund, was also criticised in Tory quarters for his decision to go to Rwanda. Kelly Grant, deputy chairman and treasurer of the Ealing Southall Tory association, where the party came a humiliating third in last week's by- election, attacked the 'unfortunate' timing of the visit. She said: "I think his interest in worldwide aid, yada, yada, yada is good but he needs to concentrate on the real issues, like making sure his backbenchers don't stab him in the back".

Read the original Daily Mail article here (That's the last time that phrase will be heard on this blog).
(Left: Not content with ignoring the plight of his constituents, David Cameron decides to strangle a puppy for charity).

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48 Comments:

At 14 November, 2007 13:49, Anonymous Tobes said...

Hi,

I was persuing satirical blogs this afternoon and came across your one. You have some great content!

May I draw your attention to The Tart, the only National Student Satirical Paper in the UK? We circulate 45,000 papers, fortnightly, to ten of the UK’s most prestigious Universities (including Oxford and Cambridge) and two law schools. We have just agreed to remove the 'student' out of the tag line and widen our net in terms of distributors and contributors.

The Tart aims to blend a constructively critical attitude towards political life, the folly of the entertainments world and social observation with humour and wit. The Tart is designed to suit the '5-minute flick' before, during and after anything!

I wondered whether or not you many fancy contributing a few of your blogged articles on a fortnightly basis to The Tart and getting your stuff in print?

Do visit our webiste: www.thetartpaper.com.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Tobes Kelly
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